You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize