A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
