We're like a lot better than the average bears
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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