Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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