At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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