What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
