It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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