their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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