he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
