Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
