i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
