I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
