So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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