I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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