I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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