my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
