Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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