My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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