i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
