you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
