Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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