she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
