Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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