:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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