Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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