I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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