I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
