I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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