whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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