he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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