i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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