worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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