and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
