this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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