Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize