i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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