What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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