Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize