3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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