i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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