I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nicole vs. Life
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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