nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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