To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Reggie can tackle my bush.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
