Its about making memories worth repressing
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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