Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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