Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
