And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize