i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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