you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm at about main and main street
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
