So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
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no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.