Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  That text needs to switch to water.

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  (651): Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink (952): That text needs to switch to water. http://tfl.nu/83yo
  Replies (4) Good night (2345) Bad night (598)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.

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  (504): Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to. http://tfl.nu/jn1k
  Replies (30) Good night (6679) Bad night (704)
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  (858): View more from California

  Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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  (858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh
  Replies (31) Good night (1487) Bad night (4747)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

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  (479): Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody. http://tfl.nu/gh8f
  Replies (17) Good night (7464) Bad night (1255)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
  Replies (12) Good night (1065) Bad night (5134)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands

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  (412): I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands http://tfl.nu/w6ka
  Replies (8) Good night (3452) Bad night (950)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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  (503): Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it http://tfl.nu/9sa0
  Replies (15) Good night (2949) Bad night (1938)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.

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  (315): We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders. http://tfl.nu/ji4s
  Replies (4) Good night (2365) Bad night (1207)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.

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  (832): Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something. http://tfl.nu/xkf6
  Replies (5) Good night (2240) Bad night (773)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?

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  (615): Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes? http://tfl.nu/jms8
  Replies (49) Good night (1032) Bad night (5733)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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  (251): dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists http://tfl.nu/lizw
  Replies (3) Good night (1078) Bad night (522)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!

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  (360): No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?! http://tfl.nu/nhtk
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (323)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.

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  (714): I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms. http://tfl.nu/fj21
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (393)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off

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  (973): In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off http://tfl.nu/ncu8
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (705)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.

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  (707): I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me. http://tfl.nu/ocbq
  Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (107)

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