She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....