you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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