She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore