the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
