I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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