What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
