i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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