I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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