We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
