have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
