i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
how does that bad decision feel?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
