anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
