You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
